Ow my head

[misqueue]

I've never tried writing fanfiction for a canon in progress before. This is hard. I am trying to adapt my head-canon & outline for "In the World of Silence" based on the new information of "Dance with Somebody", and I think I can stay consistent between both (I already knew Blaine wasn't as okay with imminent separation as he was telling Kurt in Part IV), if I just turn things to a slightly new mental angle, but, oi, this is tricksy stuff.

Part V may be delayed while I wrangle my brain. Also I have another anon fill on GKM I started, but I am worried I've bitten off way more than I am capable of and it's going to end up terrible and offensive. So I should go work on that today maybe while the mental dust from "Dance With Somebody" settles. :P

Comments

[stultiloquentia]

Eh. If it's fun to try to weave the new data into your outline, then go for it, but I wouldn't stress about it. This is what "Canonical through 3x16" tags are for. Open-canon fandoms are infinitely branching universes, no branch of which is less true, or less delightful to read, than the next. After Tuesday's ep., my own headcanon adjusted to, "50/50 chance they haven't had penetrative sex at all, yet," based my very subjective reading of Kurt's body language. Your K&B have never matched my headcanon, but I still think they're an important iteration for a number of reasons.

[misqueue]

I think it's fun, it just slows me down, oh my god. Writing during the hiatus was much easier! Part of the problem is within my own head I tend to have so many parallel lines of thought and interpretation about the characters. I don't really have a definitive head canon of my own for the series, so it's sort of a matter of working out to what extent I can weave one thread into a new one. Or something like that.

Even in complete canons I tend to have different versions of how things work in the spaces left in the work, but at least when it's complete, that structure doesn't have to be so dynamic. That's the weird thing for me, I guess: Glee feels extra malleable.

I'd also be curious to hear your thoughts about Kurt's body language vis à vis their sexual activities. After Heart I was sure they were having lots of sex, penetrative and otherwise (interrupted only by Blaine's injury), but this last episode, the level of physical comfort with each other was definitely different, even before Blaine asked "Who's Chandler". But I suppose that had been building up a bit over time (I'm surprised Blaine didn't bring up Kurt's ridiculousness with Cooper at any point), so I'm not sure how to read it. Kurt's insecurities could have been triggered by the secret admirer debacle, too, I suspect (even if he didn't process it that way immediately).

I'm starting to babble. :P

[stultiloquentia]

I think it's fun, it just slows me down, oh my god.

Oh, man, I think some of the stuff you're writing works even better after 3x17. Blaine wanting to be pushed and tied up with Kurt's scarves and tasted and owned? Uh, yeeah. Rather.

I keep multiple, sometimes contradictory, interpretations running in my head, too. But my biggest problem with open canons is I write so freakin' slowly that by the time I'm ready to post, not only have I been jossed ten times over and am no longer writing the thing everybody's excited to read, I'm sometimes barely a participant in my own fandom anymore. I just posted my last Stargate WIP on Monday. I haven't read a Stargate story (with a few exceptions made for friends) since last spring. But I'm getting better! I have two Glee WIPs two thirds done!

I'd also be curious to hear your thoughts about Kurt's body language vis à vis their sexual activities.

Basically, I'm reading too much into Kurt's way of cupping his hand around Blaine's near shoulder. He does it during the 'sex' scene in 3x05, after they sing "Perfect" to Santana, and at the end of "Dance with Somebody" as they enter the auditorium. It's adorable, but also quite closed and self-protective. It parks his elbow between himself and his boyfriend, and, while he's got his other arm wrapped around Blaine, keeping him close, it also maintains a push-point he can use to distance himself quickly. It speaks of someone still not thoroughly accustomed to having his body in that much proximity with someone else's and still—subconsciously—unsure of his welcome. In public, of course, speedy extraction also has its advantages for less cute reasons.

Blaine, by contrast, has fairly contained body language in general (while not performing), but opens wide for Kurt, angling in and flinging his arm across both shoulders.

Kurt's just body-shy, though getting over it, slowly but surely. Dammit, what wouldn't I give for one scene with them snugged up back-to-chest, the way Finn and Rachel so often are.

I'm starting to babble. :P

Crap! It's contagious!

[misqueue]

Okay, I know it's been a million fandom years since you left this comment, but I've kept it in my inbox as one I did want to reply to. But perhaps it's extra funny and appropriate since we were talking about being slow writers.

some of the stuff you're writing works even better after 3x17

I think this has been true as I've progressed. It's been much easier to write the story I'd been wanting to write with the new information from the back half of the season. So I am sort of, tentatively, learning to love the dynamic aspect of the continuing story. I think I'll always be lagging behind though, because I like to feel like I can foreshadow stuff too much. I like my continuity bi-directional when I write. :)

Glee fandom moves so fast it makes me dizzy, and there's so much activity there are trends and fads and it's boggling to me, having crawled out of writing an unpopular pairing an old, not terribly active fandom where people were super careful not to tread the same tropes too much too often lest they step on toes (Gundam Wing, which I'm somewhat embarrassed to admit to since back in the day it had a rep for ridiculous & trivial wank, but it was the first fandom where I shared any writing, so it's been my online fandom experience to date. Glee is pretty much it's polar opposite.)

But anyway, with the tortoise speed at which my brain chews over and creates things, I can't imagine I'll ever be the sort to write the latest cool thing or the most pointed episode tag within hours of the episode airing. And for whatever it may be worth, I don't think the good stuff has an expiration date, even you end up jossed, so I'm definitely looking forward to reading anything you post for Glee (and have you any Glee stories posted? I probably should go have a bit of a stalk of you on AO3 or something).

Basically, I'm reading too much into Kurt's way of cupping his hand around Blaine's near shoulder

This is very interesting, and not something I had noticed consciously about Kurt's body language (I tend to fixate on his wardrobe), but you're right. I'd be the last to accuse anyone of reading too much into anything. We already know Kurt doesn't really like being touched. I remember how he winces when Brittany hugs him in IKAG, and I think there may be some other instances like that? And the boy does wear his clothes like armor. I had read it as more like he's been guarding his intimacy with Blaine (hence the enormous ponchos after 3x05) as something precious and private, but it could be that physical modesty/shyness extends into his relationship with Blaine even more than I've considered. It reads one way in public, obviously as you set it out, but in their private moments, it's different, and so...

Dammit, what wouldn't I give for one scene with them snugged up back-to-chest, the way Finn and Rachel so often are.

YES. I had such a desire for exactly this when I watched the Finn/Rachel bedroom scene in "Heart". That shot of them spooned up and talking is something I would adore to see for Kurt and Blaine on the show: some cuddly, comfortable spooning and intimate conversation. Bring on S4? :S