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Kurt Hummel & the Grace of Heaven? (more 4x04 meta)
You know how I said it would take me a long time to process this episode? Yeah, still going.
Here are some thoughts of self-acceptance and the possibility of forgiveness with a dash of "Teenage Dream" and fairies.
I spoke a while back about Kurt being an archetype in transition: he's going from Animus to Self as his psychological growth into an individual progresses. From a Jungian perspective, where we used to associate Kurt with figures like Hermes, Thoth, and Odin, he's now heading into the realm of Amun-Ra, Jesus, and Buddha. I'm not saying Kurt IS these characters, only that his growth into himself ~symbolically resonates~ with them as archetypes of self-actualization (if we don't mind mixing some Maslow with Jung).
So Kurt has ascended to Heaven and he is becoming himSelf. The religious references in 4x04 dragged my thoughts a little further, to consider Blaine's failure with Kurt as a loss of faith, not simply a betrayal of trust. Or, it seems to me that it is in large part Blaine losing faith in Kurt's love that leads him to betray Kurt's trust.
Given Kurt's apparent growth, and that he has not broken up with Blaine (to the best of my knowledge) I think his forgiveness of Blaine is likely. Kurt is "never saying goodbye" to Blaine; his love is surely badly bruised, but--we can hope--still unconditional. He tells us he will be okay. Thus Blaine still has Kurt's grace. And while Kurt has some work to do himself, I don't think the foundation is broken, even if they do have to rebuild their relationship "...from the bottom to the top / Don't look back."
But the last piece required for Kurt to forgive Blaine must come from Blaine; Blaine must revive his faith in Kurt: forgiveness comes from grace through faith. (I am not a Christian scholar, so please do (politely) whack me with something heavy if I've grossly misconstrued this.) In other words, once Blaine can become comfortable with the notion that Kurt loves him despite the troubles between them, the mistakes and bad decisions† Blaine makes/has made, the work-in-progress Blaine is (which starts with Blaine being able to accept these things about himself, which is going to require a lot of work for him, including [I hope] counselling); forgiveness can be his. In a sense it may already be, he just has to accept it. Surrender to it. Make the leap.
A couple more related points about Blaine's self-acceptance and Kurt's forgiveness--
I have some recurring thoughts about Blaine having not sung the opening lines to "Teenage Dream" as a mark of the self-acceptance he has not yet attained but requires before he can accept Kurt's love as unconditional; and once Blaine can do that (Kurt's not seen Blaine without any make-up [persona] on--not more than glimpses anyway, at least not until the shock of Blaine's performance at Callbacks. Remember how hard the hair gel ban was for Blaine? As of 4x03, he lets us know he is still traumatized by this.), he should be able to break from the co-dependence and leave the Personas behind.
Also, returning briefly to the reading of Dalton as fairyland, other folks have also discussed how we can read Kurt as Janet. She must hold tight to Tam Lin while he transforms again and again into things that are frightening, but if she holds on, Tam Lin may escape the fairies. I believe Kurt will hold on.
Finally, yes, I whole heartedly believe you can be a mentally ill work-in-progress and be in a healthy relationship.
As always, I invite (constructive) critique, correction, expansion, and refinement.
† It's totally worth listening to "Perfect" again.
Here are some thoughts of self-acceptance and the possibility of forgiveness with a dash of "Teenage Dream" and fairies.
I spoke a while back about Kurt being an archetype in transition: he's going from Animus to Self as his psychological growth into an individual progresses. From a Jungian perspective, where we used to associate Kurt with figures like Hermes, Thoth, and Odin, he's now heading into the realm of Amun-Ra, Jesus, and Buddha. I'm not saying Kurt IS these characters, only that his growth into himself ~symbolically resonates~ with them as archetypes of self-actualization (if we don't mind mixing some Maslow with Jung).
So Kurt has ascended to Heaven and he is becoming himSelf. The religious references in 4x04 dragged my thoughts a little further, to consider Blaine's failure with Kurt as a loss of faith, not simply a betrayal of trust. Or, it seems to me that it is in large part Blaine losing faith in Kurt's love that leads him to betray Kurt's trust.
Given Kurt's apparent growth, and that he has not broken up with Blaine (to the best of my knowledge) I think his forgiveness of Blaine is likely. Kurt is "never saying goodbye" to Blaine; his love is surely badly bruised, but--we can hope--still unconditional. He tells us he will be okay. Thus Blaine still has Kurt's grace. And while Kurt has some work to do himself, I don't think the foundation is broken, even if they do have to rebuild their relationship "...from the bottom to the top / Don't look back."
But the last piece required for Kurt to forgive Blaine must come from Blaine; Blaine must revive his faith in Kurt: forgiveness comes from grace through faith. (I am not a Christian scholar, so please do (politely) whack me with something heavy if I've grossly misconstrued this.) In other words, once Blaine can become comfortable with the notion that Kurt loves him despite the troubles between them, the mistakes and bad decisions† Blaine makes/has made, the work-in-progress Blaine is (which starts with Blaine being able to accept these things about himself, which is going to require a lot of work for him, including [I hope] counselling); forgiveness can be his. In a sense it may already be, he just has to accept it. Surrender to it. Make the leap.
A couple more related points about Blaine's self-acceptance and Kurt's forgiveness--
I have some recurring thoughts about Blaine having not sung the opening lines to "Teenage Dream" as a mark of the self-acceptance he has not yet attained but requires before he can accept Kurt's love as unconditional; and once Blaine can do that (Kurt's not seen Blaine without any make-up [persona] on--not more than glimpses anyway, at least not until the shock of Blaine's performance at Callbacks. Remember how hard the hair gel ban was for Blaine? As of 4x03, he lets us know he is still traumatized by this.), he should be able to break from the co-dependence and leave the Personas behind.
Also, returning briefly to the reading of Dalton as fairyland, other folks have also discussed how we can read Kurt as Janet. She must hold tight to Tam Lin while he transforms again and again into things that are frightening, but if she holds on, Tam Lin may escape the fairies. I believe Kurt will hold on.
Finally, yes, I whole heartedly believe you can be a mentally ill work-in-progress and be in a healthy relationship.
As always, I invite (constructive) critique, correction, expansion, and refinement.
† It's totally worth listening to "Perfect" again.
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I think this bit is kind of ingenious.
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I want a Christmas duet!no subject
(Also with the fairytale theme!)
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I have wondered in very much a should-I-even-be-thinking-this sort of way about to what degree, and despite their close calendar ages, Kurt may (unconsciously) be a sort of father figure to Blaine, not in a daddy!kink way (I have negative amounts of interest there) but more in the emotional nurturing way, because Blaine has (as far as we can tell) lacked so much in his life there, and Kurt is the way he is (brave, so resilient). This could lead to the unhealthy co-dependence Blaine has with Kurt maybe?
I don't think Kurt is aware of this dynamic at all between them, how much Blaine needs from him emotionally, at least not instinctively: he's still growing up himself. Up to this point, it's all seemed so romantic to him. Until it's not.
(ETA: I can't believe how fast I've gone from broken-hearted to actually really excited about the potential for character growth and a better relationship. Infidelity is a fierce crucible.)
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Yeah, absolutely, in the looks-up-to, seeks-approval-of way.
I also think Blaine's just hella young. Kurt's bursting forward into a transformation into an adult. Problem A: Blaine's just not there yet. Glee's been signalling that all over the place, not very subtly -- Kurt stalking around the Vogue.com offices with a borgtooth clipped to his head while Blaine is dressing up as Kittenboy, Kurt rocking those sharply-tailored, elongating suits while Sam tells Blaine to cut it out with the bow ties. It's most unmissable in "It's Time", which we chatted about before. Gosh, Blaine and his zombie and magic clubs, and his, "Which tie should I where to tomorrow's debate?" are even a stark contrast to Kurt this time last year, when Kurt was telling the camera about his ten-year plan.
Problem B: transformation takes serious RAM. If Blaine's feeling neglected, sucks to be him, but in my mean old spinster opinion, Kurt is doing exactly what an eighteen-year-old ought.
Break-up or no break-up, it was always going to be really fucking hard to be out of sync like that. In a way, I think the break-up is a fantastic idea. Let them go endure some growing pains and other revelations, then find their way back to each other.
Btw, I loved what you said, and linked, on tumblr the other night about Having a Partner While Imperfect. Those posts really struck a chord. I just wanted to say so because I do make a distinction between "growing up a little" and "SOLVING ALL MENTAL HEALTH PROBLEMS FOREVER".
I am super excited about this arc, honestly.
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He's really not. I think he knows how to fake it pretty well, which is why, maybe, Kurt doesn't see it coming. Blaine can be rational and sensible and understanding and supportive in one breath, and then turn around and blow himself up in the next. And Kurt, yeah, he's so sharply focused and leaving a glorious contrail so far, gosh, I just love seeing him flourishing the way he is.
transformation takes serious RAM
Yes. I agree with both your points here, and I say this as someone who's had a fair amount of struggle and set backs in her own transformation from child to adult. I've been all kinds of out of sync, (partly due to mental illness) so I hope Blaine doesn't end up hamstrung the way I have been.
I think they can still be good partners to each other, and I don't think they necessarily have to break-up formally/properly to do that, in large part because of the friendship upon which their relationship is built. I would like to see them scale it back to something more like close friendship for a while though, and I hope they're talking again by Christmas. I think learning to cope with the distance while in a relationship could be good for Blaine. It's one way to learn limits, boundaries, and trust and how to be responsible for his own well-being without actually removing himself from an important source of affection and support.
I would like to see the neediness and desperation bleed off, anyway. It's interesting for me that they did get to this point. When I was writing my big fic, I ended up adding a lot more of that neediness to their relationship because of the conflict in DWS and all the other Blaine-is-not-okay stuff. I don't find it [neediness] terribly romantic or functional myself, but it seemed like what they were maybe doing with each other, being young, hurt, vulnerable, and idealistically, romantically preoccupied. I had a concern Glee was going to romanticize it irrevocably; I'm not so concerned about that now. Blaine's blaming Kurt with his, "I needed you and you weren't there" wasn't anything but jarring and awful and childish (though I'm sure some would disagree with me :P).
about Having a Partner While Imperfect
This I do want to see on Glee with one of the younger couples, and I'd hoped to see it with with Kurt & Blaine (but I don't know what's going to happen there, if they are broken up or not): people in a relationship supporting each other through adversity and personal growth, not breaking up to do the work in isolation. In some ways, I think, it can be more challenging to stay and do the work. OTOH, sometimes you can end up holding each other back, but I don't think that's a big danger with them any longer. I think the infidelity has fast tracked a lot of stuff. It remains to be seen if Blaine will deal with it or run away, and Kurt is being inscrutable (I want to know why they didn't talk again).
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Especially, yeah, what I'd give for some K/B friendship on my screen. Because I do think they can still be good partners; they just need to remember how to talk to each other as friends.
When I was writing my big fic, I ended up adding a lot more of that neediness to their relationship
I still have to natter at you about that. That exact facet of the last parts of ITWOS was interesting to me. At this point I'll probably wait until you post the epilogue and dump it on you all at once.
people in a relationship supporting each other through adversity and personal growth
Wemma actually did some nice things there...when it wasn't doing things that made me hurl pretzels at the TV....
I think the infidelity has fast tracked a lot of stuff.
Yeh. Fallout could be brilliant. Also could be Blaine singing Kurt eye-crossingly romantic songs in public until Kurt caves. -_-
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Did you note that the Summer of Photography Projects is totally canon, now? :D
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